収集されているツイート (26)
- EHarmony just matched me with a baked potato and h...
- I don't understand a word coming out of this girls...
- Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I m...
- Just ate 3 tennis balls by mistake, fuck you Pring...
- Justin Beiber has 23 million followers and I just ...
- Why didn't Catwoman ever show us her asshole? Seem...
- This deaf guy is throwing up extremely complex gan...
- I've had like 6 red bulls, so of course I'm vacuum...
- How long do I microwave these turtles before I can...
- The instructions for this tent is just a picture o...
- I've squirted this entire bottle of No More Tears ...
- We're out of toilet paper, also don't pet the cat.
- No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropp...
- Someone tell my wife that wizards don't have to ta...
- Probably the sexiest thing you can do during sex i...
- Apparently anyone can buy scrubs and just walk aro...
- This asshole keeps kicking me while I'm trying to ...
- Just saw two Australians in a knife fight, no one ...
- Let's just pretend I didn't wear a fanny pack on t...
- One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I li...
- Girl: Do you have protection?
Me: Um like a sword...
- Sex is a lot like Mario Kart, you go really fast, ...
- A horse is just a motorcycle with a butthole.
- *interrupts dinner
"IS THAT CLOCK REALLY YOUR GRAN...
- FUN PRANK: Leave a falcon to someone in your will,...
- Can't afford a cat? Duct tape 3 squirrels together...