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@thepunningman
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[Blockbuster] "Do you have the one where Liam Nee...
"Sir, do you have a minute to talk about living on...
I've got a magic dog. He's a Labracadabrador.
"So, Mr Fuji, what makes you think you'd be a good...
"The bond's Name. James Name" Pleased to... what? ...
Remember, you are statistically more likely to be ...
[Restaurant] "Good evening sir, would you like to...
[on deathbed] "Tell my Wif... *cough*" Yes? Tell...
[last meal on death row] "Pepper?" *nods* "Say ...
"How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"...
"Can I pet your dog?" Sure, his bark's worse than...
I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE AND I NEVER FELT THIS WA...
I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergenc...
[office] "Sir, I've done some calculations and if ...
[harp meeting] "What's up, fellow harps!" You're n...
[boardroom] "Now hear me out. They're Teenage.." O...
[literal club] *knock knock* [peephole slides open...
wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap? me: [but...
"What's that?" I call it a 'knife' "Wow, that's th...
The CAPTCHA in the Rye http://twitter.com/thepunni...
<⌒/ヽ-、___ /<_/____/  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ∧_∧ why isn't it...