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@daemonic3
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収集されているツイート (21)
What idiot called it "insomnia" and not "resisting...
Son: Dad, I got straight A's are you proud? Dad: ...
[hospital] Mom: Our son's coma - Dad: I know, it...
Bill Gates: So why did Bing fail? Board: We feel ...
Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding c...
[CSI at Starbucks] "Ma'am you've been robbed. Sus...
I mashed 6.022×10²³ avocados to make this guac a m...
[graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and m...
[dj voice] "What's up Dad Party!" *dads go nuts* ...
[trying to impress fiancée's entire family] Waite...
"So how was your date?" I talked about my obsessi...
JESUS: I shall turn water to wine JUDAS: Actually...
Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: ...
PRIEST: Do you take Florence to be your wife? THE...
CANADIAN: Let's watch a movie AMERICAN: Have you ...
[on date] HER: I once broke up with a guy for say...
ZOO GUIDE: Careful, the llamas spit ME: Haha ok ...
[1st date] HER: I once had a rat I named Ratatoui...
ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble? PRODUCER:...
[getting urine test results] You've tested positi...
Me: ○ く|)へ 〉  ̄ ̄┗┓ ┗┓ ( ┗...