収集されているツイート (22)
- I'm lazy, though. I get down to my last outfit bef...
- In China, a woman had a baby with 3 arms. They're ...
- How much cocaine do I give a baby to make it stop ...
- Cashier: Hey, you wanna buy a lottery ticket?
Me:...
- I question guys right in the middle of sex, like: ...
- Never judge a book by its cover. Unless it's got a...
- A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my t...
- A young Morgan Freeman?Impossible. Morgan Freeman ...
- If you can't love the one you want, love someone w...
- Me: "Dude, I brought another dress for you to clea...
- Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish...
- My mom keeps asking questions like 'When you gonna...
- "We don't have iced coffee"
Me: "You have coffee?"...
- I hate it when guys use pickup lines like, 'Hey, w...
- If you are over 30, still rambling about how men s...
- Me: "Excuse me, I need to buy condoms -- for my bo...
- Ordering coffee with a coworker whos a vegan, she ...
- During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'Ho...
- I donate blood 5 times a year just so I'm less and...
- Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice i...
- Marriage is when 2 people love each other so much ...
- I got a $280 parking ticket today. My car only cos...