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@FilthyRichmond
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It was wise to take a cab home last night, but foo...
My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the c...
I'm like those Mad Men guys when I'm at work excep...
I wanna get in touch with those teachers who told ...
The worst thing about getting cooties is having to...
If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then w...
This memory foam had better keep it's fuckin' mout...
If opinions are like assholes then you are like an...
Just found a Fruit Roll-Up in my pocket, which mea...
Always crush and snort your first pill on the phar...
There wouldn't be any babies if semen tasted like ...
I don't remember giving Sarah MacLaughlin permissi...
Our son kicked so hard during my pregnancy that th...
Chocolate bunnies are hollow to represent God's pr...
Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all t...
Starbucks should have a separate line for people w...
Papa John's cutting back employee hours to avoid O...
We're raising our kids Catholic so they'll be mili...
Our toddler swallowed some Legos so we're being ca...
I wish I was a little bit shorter I wish I was a h...
A blowjob from Nancy Grace counts as anal sex.