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@Beerhaze
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Next time your sit at a McDonald's playland and a ...
Hell hath no fury like a woman finding your porn.
The guys are heading over to a strip club but I de...
Windows 7 was not my idea. My idea was to give Dav...
I wonder what the Olsen twins didn't eat for break...
The best things in life are free: love... sex... s...
Starring your own tweet is the new, "Mommy and Dad...
I prefer marriage to dating, because I no longer h...
My son has a fever and keeps waking up... I whispe...
I think I would be in less trouble if my wife saw ...
I wish it were okay for a guy to carry a purse bec...
Currently using my daughter's iTouch to read your ...
Forgive me Twitter, for I have sinned. It has been...
You know your relationship is in trouble when she ...
She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last ...
Dear Best Buy, I will stop shoplifting printer ink...
My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up....
You know you are drunk when you try to kiss Rihann...
I accidentally choked on popcorn when my daughter'...
I have read your tweets... Women, if you really ne...
I'm 44 years old, so of course I have a sexy scar ...